Control issues

Hi there, I’m Cali Keating LCSW-S and I’m an exposure therapist seeing clients in Florida and Texas. If you’ve made it to this page, you’re curious about how therapy can help with control issues.

If you notice any of these moments in your life, you may have some control issues that therapy can help with.

Signs you may have control issues:

  • You rarely have to feel overwhelmed because when you do, you just make a plan and rigidly follow it. Reassuring yourself of your plan, going over your plan, asking others for reassurance of your plan helps until the scenario passes… then on to the next scenario that requires excessive planning. 

  • You spend a lot of time overthinking bad things that could happen to you or to loved ones, and this motivates you to make rigid plans or increase boundaries to make sure you can be certain about the future.  

  • You heavily control what kind of triggers can slip into your world, until your world feels smaller and smaller, and you’re feeling less anxious but not a lot of joy or energy.

  • The level of control you have in your life feels necessary because if you missed something before, you had panic attacks, dissociation, irritability or even autistic melt downs. You don’t have anything else to try except preventing triggers, so you’re stuck in a loop even if part of you would like to be able to try more unplanned experiences.


Where do control issues come from?

Many of my therapy clients with control issues have these elements in their history:

  • Some level of trauma, that could rise to PTSD or C-PTSD

  • Autism

  • Generalized Anxiety Disorder

  • Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

  • Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD)

  • ADHD (as a reactive coping skill, trying to control the impact your ADHD symptoms have on your life) 

You have other options besides over controlling your experience.

I want to be very clear that doing therapy for control issues does not remove all your boundaries and leave you vulnerable to all painful stimuli. If you choose to try acceptance and commitment therapy for control issues, we will identify where you want to expand your comfort zone vs boundaries you need to stay aligned with your values. It’s ok to not know this ahead of time, I can give you examples of what other clients with PTSD, autism, and severe anxiety disorders decided on as boundaries to keep vs. control issues to work on.



Can you help me expand my capacity and be flexible in a way that’s safe for me?

Acceptance and commitment therapy helps clients grow their comfort zone and capacity. We make positive goals based on your values, to help you have more zest and joy in your life. It’s possible that prioritizing the plan and control is getting in the way of your joy. If so, let’s work together to break some rules in your real life that you wouldn’t normally break. Ironically, this will be planned but not over planned. We will practice exposure to less control in small chunks, and we will start small until you gain confidence that maybe you can handle more uncertainty than you think.